Friends have always come and gone from my life. In the past 2 and a half years I have noticed that more than ever. Sometimes I think about the people who have left. I wonder how they are doing, what stages of their lives are they in, and I remember the good times we had.
One friend in particular really stuck with me. This girl was my un-biological sister. Our Dads had been to literal hell and back together and when our families reunited when we were 8 and 10, life was never the same. We always had that relationship where we could go months without seeing each other but one day just meet up and pick up where we left off.
When I got pregnant back in December 2015, she was so excited for me. We had always talked about her being an amazing Aunt to my children. She never wanted any of her own so this would always be her opportunity to have a “baby fix” and then go back to her kid-free environment. I loved that about her, we were always the exact opposite. She was always a free-spirit type of girl while I was hesitant and consistent. She always had fun and interesting stories to tell me of her latest exploits. We were the perfect balance, living vicariously through each other.
On August 13th, 2016, our friendship came to an abrupt halt. I only remember the exact date because this was the day of my baby shower. She never came and never spoke to me again. I had no idea why, let alone what I did to upset her so much.
In the past few months, I had been thinking about her a lot. With those thoughts came a lot of anger. I would have intense dreams about her and this made the anger turn into sadness. I missed her. I was over whatever this was. I wanted to close the gap and pick up like we always had in the past.
Eventually, I built up the courage to ask what I did to upset her so badly that she cut me out of her life. I braced myself to hear something that would just make the pain worse.
Instead, she instantly apologized.
This entire rift was triggered by mental illness.
If anything, I am not one to judge how another person handles their demons. I get that cutting people out may feel like the only option at the time. The biggest thing I could stress to her was that, at any point, she could have always come to me. I would have always been there for her, as I always have been.
Just like that, I forced myself back into her life-like the Kool-Aid Man. It took a bit to organize a day-date because someone sucks at communication. Eventually I just presented a time, date, and location and we met.
The second I saw her in the sushi restaurant, all my previous memories just drifted away. I was so incredibly happy to see her, to reminisce over what we had missed in the past 2 years. You wouldn’t have thought we had spent nearly 2 years apart, casually seeing each other on social media.
We spent the next 4 hours in complete solitude. No “Husband,” no baby, just me and my sister.
At the end of the day, my “Husband” rolled up and I was able to present my son in this long-awaited moment. He, of course, played shy and wanted nothing to do with the situation.
I am so happy I built up the courage to talk to her again. It’s all fine and dandy having a best friend as my “Husband,” but sometimes a girl really just needs her sister.
Love you, Ally.